Pernicious Diaries

It's easy if you let it be.

2009-11-11T00:24:00.005+05:30

I am quoting him, because this was very nice of him to say and I should not forget to remember it...

An alcoholic doesn't overcome his alcoholism if he looks at any bar and walks in the opposite direction. He wins when he looks at a bar, walks right in, sits next to the guy with the single malt whiskey and buys himself a Lemon Cola.

I can't be afraid every time I get close to something I want. I shouldn't worry so much. I should just let myself be and believe (and know) that I can take care of myself... because I will :)

A little black, dipped in red.

2009-11-05T21:15:00.008+05:30

I have always disliked the fact that I never got a chance to blog about my first two tattoos. I would have liked to do it very much, but hey! - I got my third one today and I get to fricking write about it!

I have wanted a quill ever since I have wanted a third tattoo. I couldn't find the right place to get it. I wanted it on my leg because it completes my weird sense of symmetry (given my other two tattoos - on the shoulder blade and abdomen). But then I came across this beautiful picture of a quill, on the inside of a finger... It was love at first sight (no matter how cheesy that sounds)! I knew I will get it, but it kept evading me. I got it today, because. This was my best 'getting tattooed' process ever. It was peaceful, serene. I did panic when the machine switched on and made that creepy noise of a drill machine (it's terrifying, believe me!)... but once it started... :)

And it's a QUILL for crying out loud! It's a part of me, it's what I do, it means so much that there aren't words (however ironic that might sound). I love the placement so much - it's where I'd hold the quill, my pen... mightier than the sword. And it's on my left hand (because I am 100% lefty) and it's on my ring finger (it's the one that is directly connected to your heart).

My artist, Fred, is bloody fantastic. He's originally from Goa. He made feel so comfortable, and we got to innovate several aspects of the tattoo - because he said you ought not to copy and paste without thinking about it; you should add YOU to it (suck it, butterflies!). That's what led to the red tinge, it was missing in the picture :) Red and black - my absolute favourites. After we were done, he said "Now you have got your quill, go and write about it!" Need I say more? :)

This is what the skeleton looks like. I can't seem to click a new picture because the intricacies won't show. It looks a lot more red now (there wasn't any blood) and it still needs a little bit of touching up which will be done in a few days :)

And her, I am so glad she happened to me. I feel so darn lucky. Friends are love.

Giffy

2009-11-04T21:53:00.008+05:30

I feel awesome :)
I feel inspired, I feel like I can believe.
I learnt something today - you should give people a chance, they will surprise you.

I spent four hours with a total stranger today and it was incredible.
It was therapeutic, cathartic.
In fact, it feels weird to call her a stranger at all - but that's probably what made it work.

I am smiling a happy smile now.
And it only gets better from here on.
She convinced me to stop thinking and get that tattoo. I am getting it tomorrow.

Have you ever felt that absolutely unexplainable connection with someone?
Instantaneous and brilliant.

I realised today that I have a 'happy walk' :)

I love friends, especially those that feel like soul mates from the very start.
Today makes me believe there is magic in the world.
The 'awful' got over in a giffy, I am beaming...
And there's only happiness to look forward to ♥

I am back! and boy, am I glad!
P.S. I smoked my first beedi today =)

And not just because it's sunny!

2009-11-01T02:32:00.006+05:30

Today was a great day :D
Well, technically I should say yesterday but I haven't slept yet so it still counts as today.

I went to college trying to do my bit for the whole pseudo team spirit thing. BIG MISTAKE.
I think the Fashion Show could have been a bomb if they let Karishma and me handle it.
But guess not x_x There's too much of politics in class that isn't even worth mentioning here. *vomit* I met my people! today :D
Henna, Himani, Nihit, Zeba ♥
Yummy food :O I was so pissed off with college crap - I just need to indulge in some gluttony a.k.a chicken :)
And there was W after that (whoa!)
Himmo and I were whacked pretty easily (again!)
(Nihit, I judge you for liking green apple!)

Who gets drunk on the beach?
*looks the other way*

MoD after was like icing on the cake ..er.. doughnut!

Five hours just flew by :)

And Henna and I are having a sleepover now ^_^
Talking, talking and some more talking about life, people, writing, books, movies, journalism, college and more.

I think Henna has slept while I am writing this blog post.
I #win!
The sleeper has become the sleepee.
Ok, that doesn't make any sense o_O'

Why do I digress so much?

The point of this post was to say that - I love you guys!!!
*tries to squeeze everyone into a hug*

This shouldn't hurt any more...

2009-10-30T23:32:00.004+05:30

I have hated her for the longest time now. We haven't spoken in almost two years now. I can't even stand to listen to people mention her.

After my friendship with N was over - I promised to myself that I would never trust any one easily. She is the other half of my reason for trust issues. The first half being A.

I have hated her so much, that I haven't even said a thing about her on my blog. I can't stand to talk about her. But today (and I am not sure why), I was reminded of her because I thought of March 2007. XII standard board exams.

She was there for me.

Even after everything she said about me, to me and behind my back. She was still there for me that day, when I was at my worst. I get goosebumps by as much as thinking of that day. It was the WORST. Not so much because of the incident but because of how I felt. She was the best friend in the whole world on that day even if she wasn't on the days before and after that.

And today I have decided, I will always remember her for that and stop hating, and just forget.

Delusions and implications.

2009-10-28T00:39:00.005+05:30

I am afraid. Maybe I will never know when the right time will be and if everything will be fine then. I feel dishonest for not being able to openly express my person. I feel stupid for worrying about a nebulous herd judging me. I feel fake for playing along with the character I have been assigned by those who don't know me, at all.

What do I say and how when I don't even know what I am feeling, on my own. Does it even need to be said? It needs to be consistently felt first. I am here today, gone tomorrow. Why can't I just allow myself to be one thing, and why can't I just KNOW already. Or do I know but let fear distract me with the illusion of confusion?

I wish it was so easy, I hate contradictions. Hugh Akston would have said, 'Check your premises.' I did, and it seems real. Scratch that. Reality doesn't seem, reality is.

Am I arriving at a conclusion?

It's evident, isn't it? This is, what it is. I am. Nothing is going to change what has happened or how I have really felt in the last two months. I feel like I have been edging closer everyday to what could be. But if I don't feel like telling the whole world, does it that make me a liar?

Then why do I feel like one?

Last Read

2009-10-26T02:25:00.003+05:30

I finished reading Anthem. It's quite short and it was beautiful. I am almost done with all of Rand's fiction. Next on the list: Night of January the 16th. I am also going back to reading Crime and Punishment, hopefully. Ten more days of vacations still left ^_^

Kill Bill Volume I

2009-10-22T18:56:00.007+05:30

I have heard quite a bit about Quentin Tarantino, especially about his latest film - Inglorious Basterds - which I still haven't had the chance to see, but I will very soon. I watched my first Tarantino film today (edit 27/10: I have found out that Pulp Fiction is a Tarantino film, so this must be my second Tarantino film) - Kill Bill Volume I. I saw it being played on television repeatedly for the last few years and I never bothered watching it because I thought it was some stupid gory violent ass movie that I wouldn't care for, but I recently got interested in it while studying for my Cinema paper.

I was studying Jean-Luc Godard and his film Breathless which although I haven't seen, I know quite a bit about due to some research and several youtube videos. I plan on watching it sometime soon though. Well, anyway - I have studied that Tarantino is hugely inspired by Godard, his film technique and innovation in the whole film-making process. I couldn't help but for the very first time notice and also appreciate this aspect of Cinema that I was completely blind to previously. I can now notice camera angles, misé-en-scene, innovation of style, placement of music, placement of objects as well as deliberate focus on those objects. For example, the focus on the cross around the warden's neck who rapes a comatose Thurman, unabashedly displays hypocrisy of the supposed devout Catholic (I'm Buck, and I'm here to fuck) - it's so amazing that you don't need biographical dialogue to convey what kind of a person the character is, you don't need a voice-over or a flashback.

I love the Japanese animé sequence which establishes O-Ren Ishii / Cottonmouth as a character. Fantastic! The fact that it's animé doesn't let you get distracted from understanding or taking the story seriously. The exaggerated blood spill - so cool! And it continues afterwards too, even when you move past the animé sequence and go on to real filming. I have never in my life enjoy action so much or been able to stand gory sequences before!

The camera angles and certain shots are pretty interesting too. The ones I remember right now are - Vernita Green / Copperhead's home (second scene) where the camera goes right above the whole house and shows the movement from the living room to the dining room to the kitchen (this is also repeated in the end, when The Bride goes to the Ladies' Room) and there are shots of footsteps leading to places instead of a whole body shot. There are brilliantly choreographed action sequences.

The scene where Elle Driver / California Mountain Snake comes in whistling is SO awesome - it is so creepy in spite of the cheery tune of her whistle; the screen splits into two and shows progression of what may be The Bride's death plus her comatose state. It builds anticipation.

The Bride's ride - The Pussy Wagon. Hilarious!

When O-Ren Ishii / Cottonmouth is being introduced and she walks in with her army, love the background score! And when cuts off the head of the member of council - point taken and very well established - yes, she is crazy! Even with her crazy 17-year old bodyguard - one scene and you know what she's all about - concisely and precisely. There's also this crazy background score to action sequences - especially the last one with O-Ren Ishii / Cottonmouth (I think it's Japanese?)

I loved watching the film. I am dying to watch Volume II and then blog about it. I can't believe! that Volume III and IV don't release till 2012 and 2014 ;_; There's too long a period to wait!

I can saaaaay so much more! I have barely spoken about the plot and have spoken about the aesthetics instead - because they override the plot in many ways and even though the plot is pretty amazing, it's not nearly as important as the craft of film-making here. I do love it though - I am loving Uma Thurman / The Bride because strong women are amazing ♥ (wiggle your big toe!)

That shall be all for tonight!
Word out x

Dream Absurdity

2009-10-20T11:00:00.007+05:30

The most absurd dreams, ever.

I was writing my (BMM) Computer exam and the two girls sitting beside me were from my BMS class o.O
I knew nothing and I was trying very hard to copy from them.
The test was weird and I was drawing some alien symbols/language for an answer (triangle and circles).
Then I gave up and left because I just wanted to get done with it.
I was convinced I was going to fail.

Then, I was in Kitu's (she's my friend from school, we met in the 8th standard and she left school in the 9th standard but we've managed to stay in touch all this while) house (her Santacruz house which was right behind school and she hasn't lived there since the beginning of 9th standard!)
And get this - there was a swimming pool in the house o_O
It looked more like a fish pond but I was convinced it was swimming pool (in the dream, at least).
We were chilling in her house as if it's the normal thing to do and we do it everyday (I haven't met her in two years).

Wait, there's more.

This boy comes to meet me outside her house.
(It's this boy I knew in high school. I thought he was very cute, until I got to know him; I hated his guts when I did. And no, I don't mean he's a life-wrecking bad boy. He's a very good boy, if I may. He's definitely a right-wing conservative in his mindset. No drinking, no smoking, no dating, lectures on women and 'gender' roles, always in need of constant ego stroking to feel worthy and what not! And the worst part? He claimed to patronize Rand. *vomit* What a waste of intelligence that boy was! Yes, this type is much worse than dumb boys who think riding motorbikes and screwing around with ten girls at once makes them look good. Why? Because waste of intelligence is a waste of life and the latter brand of men(boys) have none, so there's not much to feel bad about or disgusted with).

Now - getting back to the story. I think I have established that I hate this guy, let's call him F (you know, A for apple B for bat F for fucktard) .. so yeah, let's call him F.
This guy comes to Kitu's house and I am talking to him like we're friends o_O
Then he rolls a joint and starts smoking it.
#Wtf!
And we are talking and having so much fun :O
I think it's like, I imagined how incredible he could have been if he had the right mindset or the right values (it didn't have to involve him smoking pot, but that's probably another way of establishing that he's liberal).
I can't believe I actually liked the guy in my dream.
And I woke up, and I felt yuck!

If dreams can in fact be interpreted, please explain to me all of this!

October Days

2009-10-19T00:57:00.005+05:30

Ayeeeeeee!!!
Sorry for the lack of updates in recent times.
I have been super duper busy :o

Job hasn't worked out.
But it's alright .. I am getting plenty of time for everything else.
I bought black skinnies, jacket and high waisted skirt (purple!) from the shopping list!
I am so excited to buy the rest - the next three days are going to be about JUST that.
THEN - I can calm down and catch up on the reading and watching TV shows.
I have already covered my TV backlog though.

I am loving Community and Modern Family.
Cougar Town is great too but it's really hard to forget Courtney Cox for what made her famous - Monica Geller!

I watched Whatever Works (finally, after looking for it soo much!) .. and turns out I don't like it.
It's too blaah.
I can't believe the day has come when I don't like a Woody Allen!

Eh, I'll get over it...

SO, I bought Anthem yesterday :'D
(that's a happy tears smiley face btw)
I can't wait to start reading it.
I also have Night of January the 16th to read ^.^

As of now - these are the things on my mind: clothes + friends + her + trip + how to get out of that mess.
I am going to figure out about the mess very soon.
I just need the guts to make a decision.
It's simple - I need to put this frame of mind back in action.
I can do it again.
I don't want to face consequences of inertia, ever ... again.

Alright then, enough of the pep talk.
Later stalkers x

The Dinosaur Post

2009-10-12T18:18:00.012+05:30

There's been a lack of these random spurts of updates. I seem to have time on hand this evening, so here goes -

I have one more exam left. I am so excited that it's FINALLY ending that I am almost forgetting that I have to study Computers x( BUUUUT - it's Koylas later that evening :O I can't WAIT.

The five exams till now have been surprisingly not bad at all! Come to think of it, I did study harder than I have for the last two semesters. These papers were fun writing too :) And I didn't leave out anything because I wrote too slow or dreamt too much. I finished all of them on time :D

PR was not as good as I had expected but I did attempt everything. Cinema was effing brilliant. I loved writing the paper. I don't care how I score, I know that I have learned so much more about Cinema by merely studying for that paper. And I am very sorry for having cursed DevD for his random choice of films because they ALL make sense now and he's a frickin genius (& have I mentioned how CUTE he is?) Media Studies was better than expected, given that I had started studying only the night before exam (I never do that, ever). Creative Writing was quite fun too, but I realised there wasn't anything creative to write about per se, which was a little disappointing. The exam was still pretty good though :) Culture Studies (today) was exceptionally-surprisingly easy :O I am not failing ^.^ w00t!

So, BTW -
I have finally paid for the IV today. It's official now =D Wooooohooooo!!!

And!!!! - New seasons of EVERY show have started :D I am following a lot more shows this year than I was last year :) This is how my week goes (shows marked with * are new shows) -

How I Met Your Mother
Accidentally On Purpose (decent, but a little too clichéd)
The Big Bang Theory
Gossip Girl
One Tree Hill
90210 (it's surprisingly better this season!)
South Paaaaaaarrrk (♥)
Modern Family * (really cute + new concept!)
Eastwick * (not started seeing it yet)
Gary Unmarried
Community * (not started seeing it yet)
American Dad
Desperate Housewives

I am forever adding new movies to the collection - now there are about 20 that I haven't watched - aaaah, just two more days. (Hm, I have to remind myself to use the word movie correctly.)

I might have a job soon, will come to know for sure on 14th :) It's great because I know I will get shit bored sitting at home for a whole month :o

I want to work on my Photoshop skills this next month, it will come in handy in the next semester.

I have to read too - but as always I am not going to read anything and everything that I can lay my hands on. I hate pop fiction/non-fiction (read: Twilight/Chetan Bhagat). I can't stand reading books that propagate things that I don't believe in (read: the Bible, anyone?). I can't stand reading books about Socialism and/or leftists who talk about Global Warming or man-bear-pigs for political mileage (read: Karl Marx/Al Gore).

I can't be the person who reads everything there is to read and then constantly contradict myself by quoting from books based on absolutely contrasting values. It's either or; how can someone agree with everything there is? Pseudo intellects really crack me up :)

I am curious about existentialism. I want to read Nietzsche & Aristotle; finish Dostoevsky. There are also several movies that I have watched and I want to read the books they were based on.

I am getting inked, this week :) As soon as I find an appropriate artist!

I am dying to watch Baaaaaluuuuu :o What did they spend 100 crores on? The song is stuck in my head (even though I can't figure out the damn lyrics!) Tch. Adorno was so right about popular music!

I have to work on that fashion line :D I am super!!! excited. ALL THOSE CLOTHES!

Oh vacation - please come to me QUICK!

Faithlessness.

2009-10-11T01:20:00.002+05:30

I love this. If I see this on someone in person, I am going to marry them. For real!

Kimbo!

2009-10-11T00:33:00.005+05:30

Dear K,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU SHADE! ^_^

I am hoping you have a blast in spite of all the Culture Studies crap that you have to deal with on your favourite October day and even if you don't, be sure we'll make up for it in less than four days :D

Anywaaaaay ~ you know I don't know what to say to people on their birthdays unless 'May all your dreams and wishes come true' works for you. No? Hah, figured :P So I think I am going to take this chance to tell you (& get really cheesy as I do) that you're pretty cool :) I love how we can talk about anything and everything in the world and you're one of the few people I genuinely feel like telling my shades to. I almost lost all hope of finding somebody as (in)sane as me in class and one day, there you were in all your pinky aura in the CJ office one day :o :P I think we should maybe thank a certain puny punkass for giving us something fun to bitch about, isn't it?

Wellllllll, we're so much alike and yet so completely different it's pretty much awesome :) And of course everyone wants to be in the same frame that has so much awesomeness all together :P I know I can talk to you and hang with you for hours!!! and not get sick of you. ALL those inside jokes make me crack up randomly when I remember them while doing something else *I'm still, I'm still Joo from the block!* :P

I just can't wait for the exams to finish, we have so much to do this month and next don't we? :O And the I.V(eeeeeeeeeee!!!) I am looking forward to it ^_^

So I suppose what I am trying to say is - Have a great day & awesome last teenage year! Tch. I feel so old saying teenage now :S OK, I'll rant about that later and not steal your thunder now :P

You have go have a great next 365 days, alright? :)

P.S. You introduced me to the two loves of my life - shopping and walking!

A note to the next year me :)

2009-10-05T15:07:00.012+05:30

I am so excited to write my board exams next year. I am going to work my butt off and I am going to put in my bestest best :D I won't be distracted by even the most lucrative internship or any messy (counter-productive) relationships/friendships. I will read a lot, have my notes in order and be perfectly organised. And I will be as happy as I have been this year :)

"It's a rare gift, you know, to feel reverence for your own life and to want the best, the greatest, the highest possible, here, now, for your very own."

Movie List

2009-10-04T23:51:00.009+05:30

Here's a list of the movies I have on my computer as of now (there's more on the laptop but I am too lazy to check that now!) The ones marked with * are Woody Allen movies and therefore highly recommended. Yes, I am biased.

Across The Universe
Annie Hall *
Anything Else *
Blood Diamond
Boy A
Bruno
Cassandra's Dream *
Changeling
Dark Matter
Dead Poets Society
Drag Me To Hell
Everybody Says I Love You *
Four Christmasses
Fried Green Tomatoes
Gandhi
Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
Hollywood Ending *
Husbands and Wives *
I Love You Man
Inglorious Basterds
Into The Wild
Lost In Translation
Lucky Number Slevin
Manhattan *
Manhattan Murder Mystery *
Meet Joe Black
Melinda and Melinda *
Monsoon Wedding
Napoleon Dynamite
Notes On A Scandal
Revolutionary Road
Schindlers' List
Scoop *
Small Time Crooks *
Sophie's Choice
Sweet And Lowdown *
The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion *
The Devils Advocate
The First Wives Club
The Match Point *
The Number 23
Vicky Cristina Barcelona *
Whatever Works *
White Chicks
A Walk To Remember
Alexander
American Pie V - Naked Mile
City Of Angels
Clueless
Kill Bill I
Kissing Jessica Stein
Luck By Chance
Psycho 1960
Runaway Bride
The Age Of Stupid - Documentary
The Basketball Diaries
The Fall
The Kite Runner
Twilight
Wall-E
What Happens In Vegas

P.S. This list will be updated everyday. Keep checking back :) Movie suggestions and recommendations are loved!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

♥

2009-10-04T00:52:00.001+05:30

"Yes losing your heart's desire is tragic, but gaining your heart's desire is all you can hope for. This year I wished for love, to immerse myself in someone else and to awake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted and if having that is tragic then give me tragedy...coz I wouldn' t give it back for the world."
- Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill.

Songs on my current playlist !

2009-10-02T20:29:00.006+05:30

This is a list of the songs that my current playlist consists of -

In A Manner of Speaking - Nouvelle Vague: My solitude.
Baby Got Back - Sir Mix A Lot: (Haha! Love this one ^_^) My 20th birthday!
Better Than Me - Hinder: Quiet weird - it reminds me of Arjun Shah. I heard it for the first time in his car on my way to the FYBMS freshers' party.
Broken - Seether & Amy Lee: This reminds me of 12th standard - in essence.
Requiem for a Dream Theme: I don't recall anything in particular. I just feel extremely depressive when I listen to this one.
Forever Young - Youth Group: This reminds me of The OC a lot and so, it reminds me of the time I quit BMS.
God Save The Queen - Sex Pistols: Funny, I have no memory of this one.
Halo - Bethany Joy Lenz: This reminds me of super crazy Summer 2009.
How To Save A Life - The Fray: It primarily reminds me of Grey's Anatomy.
I Dare You To Move - Switchfoot: Not a memory, yet.
Losing My Religion - REM: This song reminds me of Priyamvad. He said it makes him happy, it makes me happy too.
Lover I Don't Have To Love - Bettie Serveert: This song reminds me of being really drunk, in a rickshaw that seemed to be spinning. It would be giving away too much to say who I was with. I love this song and he doesn't matter any more :)
Painted Whore - Millionaire: No memory in particular.
Pretty Girl - Sugarcult: This song reminds me of Ajit - April 2009.
Right Round - Flo Rida: Of course - the hotties from my movie ♥
Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake: I have already explained this one, haven't I?
The Reason - Hoobastank: I have explained this one too.
The Way I Are - Timbaland: This song will forever remind me of my FYBMS Freshers' party, being really drunk (three shots of V did it for me back in the day!) and dancing a heck LOT!
What Goes Around, Comes Around - Justin Timberlake Feat. Timbaland: It will always remind me of Poornima and Ajit - June 2007
When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls: Delhi-Agra trip last year. Listened to this over and over again :)
With A Heavy Heart - Does It Offend You, Yeah? : No memory in particular, but I am dying to make memory out of this one!
You - Switchfoot: I have named almost everyone, haven't I? But I can't name this one. This reminds me of the only person I have ever loved.

iWant!

2009-10-01T12:59:00.005+05:30

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I am so distracted, I can't study.

I want to shop.
I want to go to BBQ nation.
I want to get a job.
I want to get drunk a little.
I want to meet her!
I want to go on my college trip.
I want to go for morning walks.
I want to listen to tons of new music.
I want to go to a Para Vayu gig!
I want to watch movies all day.
I want to blog a lot.
I want to work on my novel.
I want to Facebook/Tweet plenty!

And you know what I really want to do? Burn these books & notes :'/

October Shopping List <3

2009-10-01T00:59:00.007+05:30

Yes, it's only 1 AM, October 1st 2009 and I have a shopping list ready!

Red/Yellow/Green/Purple dungaree skirt.
High-waisted plaid skirt.
Short jacket.
Black Skinnies.
One of Alexis' summer dresses (yes, I know it's not Summer any more but it still feels like it, doesn't it?)
Fish net stockings.
Ballet shoes. Not the tacky ones!
Red stockings. Please. Please. Please. Anyhow. I want :(
Hair bands!
Barbie Doll Glares (shades :P)
Denim Skirt.
Red/Yellow Kolahpuris.
Bathrobe.
Gladiator Chappals.

Rationalism

2009-10-01T00:08:00.011+05:30

I have being meaning to write this post for a while now.
Every time someone starts to talk about Feminism, I feel like I am put in an awkward position. I am supposed to support the movement, the spirit and everything else just because I am a woman. I don't like that kind of pressure, and I don't like most fundamentals of The Suffragette Movement anyway.

Here's what I don't agree with:
- I agree that men and women should be treated as equals - how is reserving seats/jobs not treating women differently from men? How is it an equal society when a man much more suited for a job loses it to a woman only because she's a woman?
- Women don't realise that Feminism should be about equality and not 'women are better than men' because that's just female chauvinism.
- Of all the kinds of Feminists, it's the convenient Feminist that I despise the most. You want the man to pull the chair for you, pay the tab on the first date, hold the door for you, have a stable job when you get married (even if you have no job at all!) - BUT - you want to be treated equally. How does that make sense?
- The women who use Feminism as a means of manipulation are pretty much disgusting.

Here's the version of Feminism I agree with:
- I agree that no person should be denied a job just because she is a woman (the same way that she shouldn't be given a job just because she's woman).
- Equal wages for equal work speaks for itself.
- Abortion rights. A woman decides how she wants to use her body - whether she wants to let foetus be a baby or not is her choice. I don't think a man has or should have any say in the matter. If a man wants a child: he should sleep with a woman who wants it too. If he doesn't want it: he should sleep with a woman who doesn't want it. Don't go sleeping in different beds every night and them demand the woman to change the course of her life as per your whims.
- In essence: Equal rights. All of them. No more. No less.

Grey area:
- Yes, women are physically weaker than men. Women can be a victim of violence, but in a Democratic country like ours or in a free society - she has the right to speak every single time she's beaten/raped/assaulted/eve teased. If she doesn't, she's giving sanction to the man who put her in that position. If she decides to do nothing about it - it's her fault then and from then. Evil requires sanction of the victim.

Job reservations may make your life easier - but do you really want to something that's rightfully someone else's? Maybe you do if you have no self- respect.

Women's compartment in the local train may make one feel a lot safer than the general compartment - but can we not improvise on the law&order instead of putting women in a different compartment?

One thing can't be fixed in itself or by itself, other things need to be too. The only question is - where does one start?

In a gist:
No, we are not better than men. No, men are not better than us. It's ludicrous to judge someone based on what gender they are. It's too inaccurate and ignorant a way of doing that and most of us do it subconsciously and never know it.

I think no intelligent and self respecting woman could/would ever agree with the aforementioned kind of Female chauvinism.

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Geek rant.

2009-09-29T01:46:00.004+05:30

I have been sleeping and waking up at odd hours. I am pretty much not doing even 10% of the amount of studying I should be doing. I have studied so much more for the last two semester exams. And I feel like an utter geek for cribbing about exams and such because no one else seems to give a fuck. Really o.o So am I just really stupid to fret about these exams or is everyone else secretly studying behind my back?

My sole worry is that dreaded KT. I will die if I get it because I know better than that & it's just too much of an ego bruise for me to get one when I am studying subjects I love! Oh, and about that - I love these subjects, yes but turns out that the professor teaching them has a LOT to do with whether I will enjoy studying them.

For example - PR theoretically is the most boring shit ever but MJ made it SO interesting and fun to study, especially with the class assignments and interactive discussions! I missed only one class in the whole semester and they were 7.30 AM lectures - all of them! On the contrary (sigh!) a certain Culture Studies prof. has made the subject as dry as Mother Teresa! Now - at the end of the term when I finally read the syllabus/content of CS - I know I would have just LOVED to have studied it a class which allowed much discussion and analysis of theories of all these philosophers, to be able to understand history and ways/means in which a society functions - but heck, no! She just ruined it, all of it >.<

I know it's a little difficult to have amazing teachers for ALL the 30-something subjects we are to study over the course of three years but a little competence wouldn't hurt any one :/

Things to do between November 22nd and 28th...

2009-09-26T23:52:00.003+05:30

Get the best clothes to wear!
Carry some good stash of W and plenty of diet coke and not share - not one bit! I like that I have outgrown V, not many people like W - that leaves all of it for me :D
Smoke ALL the time. I want to wake up EARLY in the morning and while everyone sleeps - I want to stand by the window and smoke and think, by myself. On other days I want to wake up and grab a cigarette from the lamp-stand and light it. Then I want to get out of the cold AC compartment in the train and stand outside to smoke. I want to smoke during those little breaks on bus rides. I want to smoke while I soak in the bathtub. I hope there is a bathtub - like last time :D !
I want to sleep for no more than five hours every night. NO MORE.
I want to click a bazillion!!!!! pictures.
I want to talk to more people.
I want to switch my cell off but tweet/facebook everything in the process.
I want to be able to blog on some days.
I want to get pissed!!!!!! every night.
I want to know every crazy thing I did/said when I was that way.
And yes, I just want to go NOW!

It feels like the first day of my life.

2009-09-26T22:53:00.003+05:30

I want to remember this day because today is the first time I felt ideas forming in my brain - for a book. I am not sure if I am going to start any time soon and I am not sure if I want it to be non-fiction/fiction; all I know is what it will contain.

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Did you hear?

2009-09-26T11:36:00.006+05:30

NEWS FLASH: The SY Industrial Visit (I.V.) has been pre-poned to 22nd November!

I am so excited! I know, this still means that there are two whole months to go, but I am sure these two months are going to fly by. Firstly - exams are on till the 13th and secondly - I am hoping that my cousin will come stay with me for a week ^.^

All the rest of Oct-Nov will be spent - shopping, working out (yes!), morning walks, reading, watching movies, catching up with my lovelies, dates, tweetups (lots!), (SOUTH PARK starts on OCTOBER SEVENTH) and what not.. :D I am already so excited. Haha.

Anyway, this post was ideally a reminder to myself: things I want to buy before/for the I.V. and things I want to do on the I.V. - I will post these two sometime soon :)

Until then, I am going to go make sure I don't fail my third semester exams - toodloo.

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The Reason

2009-09-25T21:37:00.013+05:30

Hate (love) it when old songs stir up old memories.
The Reason makes me think of the day we were in the kitchen, trying to boil eggs because we were so hungry!
Sexy Back just brings in vivid pictures of 12th standard - Vineet's house, Rishoo's birthday, Nitin's house, my Slyvester t-shirt, his garden, a bus ride home in the evening, pretending to have hit my face on the bus rod...

Oh! I miss school so much today!!! *sniffle*

Maybe it has to do with the 7AM bus that I caught to his house today.
Or the way I felt, when I sat on his couch in the exact same fashion as we used to.
Or when I talked about exactly how/where I went wrong and that I could see it.
Or when I felt the same violent admiration that I used to three years ago.

But something is different.
I am different, in so many ways that I can't explain.

I never thought I'd miss the past though.
I was so busy loathing it, I forgot the incredibly good parts.

I still love him, but I am not in love with him.
Does that make sense?
It does to me.