Maybe I just enjoy that it's unrequited, because it makes it more romantic, more tragic.
Maybe I just do it so others won't hurt me, because I know he won't.
Maybe I use it as a defence mechanism.
Maybe I want to build a wall around myself, so I can love him while resigning myself to the fact that nothing will happen. And then, I won't let anyone else in..
Maybe I am just afraid. I am just afraid.
I like the idea of longing and wanting someone more than they will ever know.
Maybe I am just playing myself into that?
OR .. maybe now I am just trying to pragmatically break my feelings up into logical/rational parts, to the point that I don't feel anything. So that I believe that I never did feel it in the first place.
If only I could figure out what sort of defence mechanism this is or what it is that I am defending myself against.
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2 comments:
May be your in love with the idea of love.
He fits the image you have created in your mind.
That's very likely /:
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