<3

Neomails that put a smile on my face when I am feeling gloomy :) Another reason why I like to escape to the cyber world that I have built for myself. It's so much better than the real.

Click for bigger picture, you know the drill?

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Dum de dum

Today was nice-ish. Thank goodness. Hmph. I didn't go to college. I woke up late and I didn't want to risk getting late for that computer lecture. Eh, I'll attend tomorrow. No biggie. I watched this movie ~ Atonement, today. It was really very nice and sad towards the end. I love Keira Knightley, which is why I wanted to watch it in the first place. I want to read the book now :) But then again, there are a million other books that I want to read. Lol.

Also, I am happy that FoxyTunes is finally working on the new versions of Flock and Firefox :) I didn't know how much I had gotten used to it, till it crashed o_o; Well, at least it's working now. If you don't already have it as an add on ~ what are you waiting for? Christmas? xD

So, I downloaded Borat already. I might watch it right away, I might wait for tomorrow (after college of course). I am not sure yet :x Ok, so it /just/ started raining again. Which is a good thing, because I wanted it to. +sneezes+ And I think the flu isn't completely gone yet or maybe I am coming down with something else all over again :( Hmm, I guess that's all for now. Biiiiii ^_^

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Now playing: Britney Spears - My Prerogative
via FoxyTunes

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Pfft

It's been such a fucked up day. I woke up with to this dream that made me cringe. [I close my eyes and those pleasant dreams haunt me out of my guise.] ~ heck yes; if nightmares are bad, happy dreams are worse. Ten projects due in less than a month. Lectures today were so boring! Uh, I am feeling icky and pissed off. I would vent if I knew what I was really venting about. I wish I could get some sleep right now, so that this horrid day comes to an end really quick but I know that isn't going to happen. I am not sleepy at all. Bye ~!

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:/

So turns out that my last post on 'virginity' has had several jaws drop to the floor, which brings me to the point ~ It's OK to discuss it behind closed doors but a problem if someone talks about it openly? The hypocrisy of our society doesn't cease to amuse me. I didn't write the entry to draw attention, I don't see how it needs more attention than any other posts of mine. Anyway, I am trying not to start ranting again but please get over it :)

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Notes To Self

This is just to keep track of my individual and group projects, due dates and such.

30.07 - Mass Comm. - Forrest Gump - Hard Copy
05.08 - Effective Comm. - Methods of Communication - Powerpoint
12.08 - Economics - Undecided - Hard Copy
29.08 - History - George Washington - Hard Copy
04.08 - Computers - Heroes - Hard Copy

Mass Communication - tba
Effective Communication - Fashion Show - tba
Economics - tba
Computers - n/a
Sociology - Local Trains Culture
History - tba

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The thing about virginity.

It's sick, isn't it? How bloody obsessed we are with the idea of virginity? The older generation is obsessed with getting young girls to have their tissue intact. The younger generation is obsessed with the idea what everyone would think of you being a virgin after a certain age (let's say 25?). What I fail to understand is ~ who the fuck cares anyway? What's the big deal if you had sex before getting married (unless of course you decided to be foolish about it and not wear protection thus getting impregnated and contracting a few STDs on the way. Woohoo!). I don't think it matters. It's your business, not anybody else's.

On the other hand, it's not like I am anti-abstinence either as long as you're doing it for the right reason. Why would anyone stay a virgin till they get married because society expects it? I don't propagate waiting for Mr. Right. What you really need to wait for is the right time and you always know when it comes. Your intuition would scream it out to you and you would do it because you're a 100% sure that you won't regret it. Don't do it because everyone's doing it or because it's expected of you. Don't not do it because of what the world would think. If you want some, go get some and shut the fuck up about it. Ok? Nobody cares, nobody needs to.

P.S. If upon reading this you're obsessing over the idea of whether or not I am a virgin. Please go fuck yourself :)

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10 Things I Hate About You

It's such a cute movie :* And yes, I did watch it only because it's Heath's movie but I loved it :3 If you're stuck at home due to the rains and want to kill time and escape the gloominess as well. I suggest you watch this one :) And heck, it's so hard to imagine Heath as the same person who played Joker. Wow. Ok, enough raving. I need to get to bed. I have college, early tomorrow.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

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Rain, rain.. go away!

It's been a weird couple of days. It's been raining like crazy for the last four days. Non-stop. Heavily. Relentlessly. I haven't gone to college for six days and chance of me going to college tomorrow, don't look so bright right now considering the way it's been raining. I really want to get back to college though. I am bored as heck and the only constructive thing I have done in the last couple of days is watch The Dark Knight. What's more annoying is the fact that I don't have a good book to read D: My bitch of an Economics teacher confiscated my copy of Atlas Shrugged and I don't think she plans on giving it back. I might have to buy another copy. Ack, I hate her :@ I could have done a lot of reading all these days but I couldn't due to the lame aforementioned reason. Hmm. I might just get Mum to go and buy me a few books :) I have all this money that I don't know what to do with. Lol. And there is a shit load of books that I still want to read. Mhmm. Anyway, I gotta flee now ;o Biiiiii ♥.

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I found on this on Neo ~ I think it's hilarious.

Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, action star and television and film actor who is known for action roles such as Cordell "Cord" Walker on Walker, Texas Ranger, for his iconic tough image and roundhouse kick.

• If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
• There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
• Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
• Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
• Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
• Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
• Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
• Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
• Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
• Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
• Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
• Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a Cyclops between the eye.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
• Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
• Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.
• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
• There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
• If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
• When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
• Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
• Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord.
• Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
• Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times
• If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
• Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
• Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
• When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
• Why did Jackie Chan cross the street? To escape the wrath of Chuck Norris. (Chuck Norris still got him, though)
• Google won't search for Chuck Norris, because it knows that you don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
• Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalk.
• Chuck Norris did, in fact, build Rome in a day.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Willis was what Willis was talking about.
• Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
• Chuck Norris invented the apple.
• Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
• Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
• Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
• Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.
• P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
• Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.
• Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.
• Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
• Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris can MAKE water run uphill.
• Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.
• Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
• Chuck Norris sneezes electricity.
• Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
• Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.
• Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
• When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways
• Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
• Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.
• Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
• Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
• Chuck Norris can beat rock with scissors."
• Chuck Norris has caught all Pokemon!
• Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.
• Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
• Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
• Chuck Norris is able to divide by zero.
• Chuck Norris is hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
• Chuck Norris invented black. Actually he invented the entire ray ray of visible lights. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
• Chuck Norris's first job was a paper boy. There were no survivors.
• CHUCK NORRIS HAS BONJU!
• An army was once raised to destroy Chuck Norris, but they were defeated when Chuck Norris told a joke so funny, they laughed to dead. Then Chuck Norris told the same joke backwards, bringing them to life again so Chuck Norris could defeat them in melee combat.
• Chuck Norris had Mr. Safety right a song about him and put it on Youtube.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
• Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks
• Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
• When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
• In honour of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

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I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.

I am a nobody to even begin to express any semblance of appreciation that this masterpiece of a movie deserves. I would honestly not mind watching it a hundred million times over. The fact that it took less than a week for IMDB to have it listed as the #1 movie of all time, says a heck lot.

Heath Ledger is fantastic. He deserves that posthumous Oscar nomination if not an Oscar for everything that Joker stands for after The Dark Knight. I can't imagine anyone doing a better job than him. I was stumped, enmeshed and then in love with the character of the Joker. It's so real, irrespective of how extreme he was.

Alfred Pennyworth: Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

^ It's true, even though it's beyond the comprehension of most of us. And it's put so aptly. In fact, the movie has several other amazing dialogues, this one being my favourite ~

The Joker: [holding a knife inside Gamble's mouth] Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was....a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Lets put a smile on that face!" And..... Why so serious?

I am not going to take any more of your time, trying to summarize this marvelous movie. I am afraid I won't do it any justice. If you haven't already, please go and watch The Dark Knight * and if you have already, heck go and watch it again. I know I will ;)

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Mr. Birghtside

~ it's a must have on that play list of yours ♥ ;

I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep
And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can’t look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside

I never
I never
I never!

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The world I wish to live in...

This is going to be an interesting entry. Thanks for the tag Henna :)

A world without borders - most of our problems exist because the world is 'divided' and the mere fact imposes a plethora of restrictions upon every living being. Maybe I am just naive but I don't see how having countries and states helps at all (yeah, I know it helps with directions when you're lost! Lol). If generations have been staying in a said geographical area, doesn't mean someone on the other part of the world doesn't have an equal right to the same place.

Panchi, nadiyan, pavan ke jhoke ~ koi sarhad na, inhe roke. Sarhadein insaano ke liye hain. Socho, phir kya paaya humne tumne insaan hoke?

Translation: Birds, rivers, breezes ~ they are unrestricted by borders or boundaries. Boundaries are for humans. Then what is it that we have gained by being humans? ~ It is by far my favourite quote, from a song in the movie Refugee. It describes my feelings aptly :)

A world without religion - I am sorry if I offend any theists in the process, but I am convinced that a world without religion would not have caused 90% of the problems that we have today. India-Pakistan-Bangladesh wouldn't be three different countries . Young boys wouldn't have turned into terrorists in the name of 'jihad'. India wouldn't have had those riots and bombings. You get the drift? Not asking the world to give up on (the idea of) god, but to pray as an individual instead of a Jew, Christian, Hindu, Muslim and what not.

A world with a free economy - I absolutely disagree with socialism, with charity, with dependence, with needing aides. Therefore, I also absolutely disagree with the reservation system and the government interference in the economy. I dream of a world with independent thought, action and free will. A world where 'jurisdiction' 'government' 'economy' and 'people' are separate bodies and neither interferes in or influences the working of the other. People are not 'equal' but there ALWAYS need to be 'equal opportunities' for people. Reservation screws talent over. Always has and always will.

I profusely disagree over the point that one should be 'selfless' and 'think of others before oneself' solely because a selfless person doesn't have any semblance of a self.

Men have been taught that the ego is the synonym of evil, and selflessness the ideal of virtue. But the creator is the egoist in the absolute sense, and the selfless man is the one who does not think, feel, judge or act. These are function of the self.
("The Soul of an Individualist," For the New Intellectual, p. 81)

A person who can't fend for his/herself will never be able to fend for another being. If one doesn't respect oneself one can have neither love nor respect others.

Agreements? Arguments? Contradictions? Feel free to bring those up :) I need some coffee. Word out «3

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Flu day #4

I think this virus has fostered a liking towards me. It refuses to leave. I feel icky and I hate that I am missing out on college and everything else. Ack. I have nothing creative to say/post right now, I was just missing being able to blog :P New layout, because I needed a change I suppose :) I have started with Grey's Anatomy off late. It's a nice way to kill time, till I wait to feel better and my favourite shows come back with new seasons. It's rained after ages, obviously on the day that I can't go out and get soaked. Mhmm. That's enough ranting for now. Chao «3

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Flu day #2

What a stupid day. I didn't go to college because the flu worsened. Believe it or not, I slept from 11 pm last night to 7pm in the evening today. 20 hours of sleep!! It's crazy, I know. I think I had a bit too much of cough syrup. Lethargy has gotten into my skin and it's not a good feeling. I have this Mass Comm. project due tomorrow and I haven't finished it. Not like I would be able to make it to college tomorrow (unless I miraculously get healthy in the morning). My eyes are watering, nose is blocked, throat feels like a huge lump and head is giddy. Yeah, I think I should hit the bed again.

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Indo-US Nuclear Deal.

When I left from college and waited for my friend at the station (I had about thirty odd minutes to kill). I heard what I thought was a rally of some sought. I was a spectator with about fifty others. I had absolutely no idea of what was going on (since most of what I could hear Marathi..) I decided to go around the whole group and take a look at what they boards they were holding. Here was a lot against the Indo-US Nuclear Deal. Repeating lines that they had learnt verbatim, vehemently, loudly.

I had 30 minutes on hand and it was like 'what the heck, let's click pictures' since there were already reporters and journalists; I thought it would be OK if I clicked a few pictures, shot a few videos. Hmph. It was nice, to see people taking initiative. Not that I agree with them, I just respect the initiative taken. Obviously they were bad mouthing Sonia Gandhi, Man Mohan Singh and Congress in general. The typical Indian morcha. In the midst of all of it, this reporter/journalist guy comes to me and tells me that I need to get my camera upgraded. o_o I gave him the 'wtf' look and told him that I am just a student anyway. So much for a random trying to diss me ;)

All in all, it was a nice experience and that's what Nandini Sardesi keeps talking about.. 'a journalist always needs to be armed with a camera and ready to capture any form of news anywhere.' Maybe I was at the right place at the right time? Maybe not. But at least it was nice to feel like a part of something. On a completely different note, I think it was really funny to see this ---»
It was on the back of this poster that a man was holding ;) Hah, the irony of it ;P since most of the rally was about the government selling us out to the western countries and all that jazz. Mhmm. Ok, my flu is getting worse. I need to get my butt in bed. Word out !

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Fuck you flu :@

I am down with cough, cold, fever.. viral attack basically. I have no idea why or when but seems like everyone is falling sick. Four of my friends at college aren't well, same goes with my brother who's down with it as well. My throat is effing swollen and no, I am not exaggerating. I have literally been coughing my lungs out all day. I don't even know why I attended college :P Ah well, at least I got attendance and I won't feel so bad about not attending tomorrow. Today was pretty much uneventful, not counting what happened at the end of the day. More on that in my next post =)

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The never ending weekend

I think I am almost done with my Mass Communication Project. I will be posting it here, once I have submitted it in class :) I don't want to take any chances :P It's supposed to be printed and spiral bound before Wednesday and for that to happen I must finish today, asap.

On a completely different note, I slept for four hours straight in the middle of the day. Obviously I am going to have trouble sleeping at night but I suppose I could use the time to finish my first project and start working on the others (I haven't even started!). It's kind of crazy, but I love the stress. Haha. What a refreshing change from idleness. Did I already mention that I got bored as shit this weekend because there wasn't any college!

Ah well, I better get back to work now. I need to make myself a cup of tea and get moving. Toodles <3 I might be back after I am done with my project :)

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Dear Esha

I am afraid I will never get over it. It's my biggest fear. I don't know why I let him be. Months pass and I start to believe that I am stronger now, but it takes a minor fight to turn into flashes of the past. All I ever associate with him is pain. The feeling of being powerless, it's a disgusting feeling. You want to rip yourself open. I don't know why I keep coming back to square one. I don't know why I keep getting lost. I don't know anything any more. I don't know why I find myself missing the past that I loathe. Am I fucking insane? This is messed up.

Curling into a ball on the side of my bed and sobbing like a helpless kid. It reminds me of all those countless nights that I spent doing the same. I was miserable. I cringe to think of the past, yet I don't give it up. Why? Why must I live in the past? There are some things that you just don't want to remember, then why not just be strong enough to steer clear of those memories? Self-control Esha. Self-control. I tell myself every time I get too close to tearing open old wounds. It's a thing we like to do, don't we? Some kind of sadistic pleasure, pitying yourself? It's evil. Really.

If someone hurt you, you either pick up the pieces and don't let anyone hurt you ever again. Or you give it back to them, twice as bad and make sure they never hurt anyone again. But if you hurt yourself, there is no end to it. If you wallow in self-pity and cry over the past which is not changing no matter what you do.. then there's no helping you. Nobody can save you from you, other than you.. your self. It's so easy. You either save yourself or destroy yourself. Nobody else does anything. Who the fuck doesn't have a past? Try spending time with the happiest person alive and dig deeper into the truth underneath, you'll find there is a past that they detest very much. But it's buried and forgotten, just as it should be.

If you forgive, well and good. You don't carry the obligation of hating someone and wasting all your energy. If you forget, you never learn BUT if you wallow, you neither learn nor move on. What do you want to do? You need to understand what you need to remember and what you need to forget.

Forget: all the times you felt miserable, frustrated, depressed, violent, out of control, powerless, what-the-fuck-ever. Remember: to be independent - emotionally, financially, mentally, socially, practically; to be strong, assertive, uncompromising, positive, happy, honest, patient and most importantly, remember to forget everything else.

You don't need to drug yourself out of your misery. You don't need to physically hurt yourself to escape the mental pain. You don't need to cry your eye sockets dry to feel relief. All you need to do is change perspective and everything would be fine. I promise.

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Could I hold on to this one?

I woke up with a beautiful dream on my birthday. I am finding it hard to let it go. He didn't have a face this time, but it feels like I have known him forever. I don't know what it means. It wasn't a continuation to my concious thought process because there weren't any thoughts as such. But every time I think of the faceless beauty of that particular moment in the dream, it fills me up with fluttering butterflies up to the brim. Really. I caught myself wishing several times in the day; wishing that he was real.. Maybe he is? That broad grin that I woke up with on the morning of my birthday, it couldn't just be my imagination..

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Nineteenth

Ooh, what a fantastic day it was. Humour, drama, action, emotions all rolled into one defined my Nineteenth birthday. I wish I had blogged yesterday with most of it fresh in my mind, but better late than never :) Firstly, I fell asleep at 11.30 pm on the 15th. Rofl. I always do that. Seriously, I have done it every year. And people call me to wish me at midnight when I am snoring away to glory :P Except Priyamvad of course, he knew I would be sleeping :@ How intuitive. Hmph. Okay, so anyway. College was pretty much uneventful but that's not necessarily a bad thing because I like it that way. It gets embarrassing when all eyes are on you. Like, when they want to sing for you because it's your birthday ;_; I thought we were past all that in the third grade. Guess not. Most people like it, but I just don't D: Haha. I am weird, I know.

Turns out I share my birthday with another guy in class. Not fun :( I hate sharing my special day. Lol. But blargh. It's all good. We had quadruple communication (which is always great..) the first two were interesting. As for the last two, I don't think she cares if you sleep, eat, talk or die. There was talk about the upcoming college festival. Supposedly the first BMM fest of the year - Polaris. We gave out our names for various events. It's going to be fun :) Well, at least it looks like it.

Um, yeah. So moving on, two people called me up and hurled abuses after college. It was weird, confusing and funny all at once. This was obviously to do with what happened on the fourteenth. I have no idea where the retards got my number from, but they had to be pretty desperate to have found it since I haven't given it out at all. So yeah, I think I attended three of the thirty calls and deleted their messages without reading them (not a fan of badly framed sentences, and crippled insults.. hurts my brain). Now that I think about it, I wonder how anyone could make such a fool of herself. It's not news to me that you don't have the courage to stand up for yourself. But getting your illiterate boyfriend to hurl abuses surely does the trick, yeah. Bravo!

And OMG. You called me a slut :o! Boohoo! :( I don't care. Call me a slut, a whore, a bitch or whatever you want. I just don't care. Tell me I don't have any 'moral' values (pfft!), I am crazy, I don't have friends.. Guess what?! I still don't care :) Get your ugly girlfriend to hit me? I will owe you for life. I have been waiting for so long for that one chance. Maybe a few hard hits would finally cure her of her ugliness :) It's so funny when people (who know that you don't give a rat's ass about what they say or do).. try to get to you, or fuck with your head. Fail. No, wait. Epic fail !

Erm, ok. Now that, THAT is out of the way :P I got home (wheee!) Mum bought this delicious cake ♥.♥ I could have eaten the whole thing but common courtesy is a bitch. Really. Anyway, I got the cuddliest bear =) It's shoo cute :3





Oh, and my parents got me this adorable card. I am too lazy to scan it :P Maybe later, ok? I had already said no to any other presents because I don't really want anything at the moment. Everything is pretty hunky dory :) +touchwood+ Dinner with the family and several birthday wishes later it was 12 AM, July 17th. And very much like Cinderella my royal ball ended :o But not that I am complaining xD

So, I guess that's it :o Toodles «3
P.S. You have no idea how much I love BMM. Our Sociology Project is going to be fantastic. Got to love Nandini Sardesi.

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Bitchslap

I was in a rotten mood through last night to this afternoon when I confronted this girl who was spreading baseless rumours incessantly. What I fail to understand is why someone (anyone!) would want to talk about you when you have nothing to do with them. Seriously, what a low life. And taking cheap pot shots by calling someone a 'slut' or 'fat' or what-the-fuck-ever makes them look like more of an idiot than they already are. I usually wouldn't care about what people have to say, it just doesn't bother me. I have gotten used to things being said about me. Hey, I am giving them something to talk about.. as long as some good comes out of it.

Yesterday, however.. wasn't just another day. It was a day with a lot more baggage and it ticked me off to come to know of another stupid bit of rumour about me and my effing past. It's the past, just leave it there. But no! At the time, I didn't see a reason to jump the gun and I really didn't. But like I said last night, the pent up frustration was up to the brim really and I had to let it out or go down with it. Obviously, I chose the former. I choose not to bear the brunt someone else's folly, so I decided to confront the bitch. Several yells later, she calls me a slut on my back. I mean seriously, have the fucking balls to say it on my face and if not, have the fucking balls to repeat it when I ask you what you said. But heck, since when did gossip mongers grow balls? She still needed to be shut up though. And I don't give a shit whether you shed tears or hair when I confront you. All I care about is to have it drilled into your little head that I won't effing take crap from someone or anyone like you. It was liberating what happened, to have yelled and to have made my point. Note To Self : Confrontation is the way to go.

The End *

Bitchslap (verb) : To slap someone (particularly, but not necessarily female) who is being rude or nasty, perhaps screaming a lot (i.e., being a bitch). The idea is to get them to calm down and behave. It doesn't necessarily mean you really hit the person; there is such a thing as a verbal bitchslap.

It's been a few months since her barking started. Hopefully it would stop now. And if not, I am always up for more bitchslapping. Yeah, really :P

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Saline..

No, I am still not feeling any better. Wtf happened to my venting powers? :( I have this sick feeling in my stomach. I have no idea why. I feel like all my pent-up emotions are up to the brim now. It's got nothing to do with the past. It's just got to do with not having him around. He promises to be back soon and that everything will be OK again but I don't see it happening. I don't see him keeping his promise. It's been over a month and it just gets harder everyday because I am sick of pretending that it doesn't bother me and that I am alright. I am not. I want him to come back, I want him around; yet I can't demand that of him because I want him to be happy too. I can't impose upon him a life that he detests, just for the sake of me. That is the sole reason why I am putting up with this. It's not the same, even if he's at home all the time .. he isn't /really/ at home. It's not the same and I don't know if it will ever be. It's hard to believe this is happening. I think I am still in some sort of denial. The feeling has only started to sink in. I want him back.. and I want him back now.

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Ack..

I feel it, that dire need to vent whatever is going on in my head because the sequence of the day's events has been overwhelming to say the least. I saw Dad after a week today, and I had missed him very much. It's crazy how much just knowing that he's sitting in the next room makes me happy and what's more crazy is the fact that I never realised it in all these years. I wish I could pour it all out here, the things I have been feeling but there are very few people that I can talk to and fewer that I would like to tell about my personal life. Another sentence about this and this knot in my throat will turn to tears.

Change the subject? Turns out that those dreams didn't resurface after I vented in my last post. Speaking about dreams helps, really. I have come to realise that they truly are the unspoken/buried thoughts of one's conscious mind that flow out uncensored when your thoughts aren't guarded. Shows how much I have come to controlling those pointless whims.

It's my birthday in three days and I feel no excitement at all. My brother questioned my apathy today and I had no answer, really. There just isn't any excitement. Period. As it turns out, whenever I spend weeks planning for my birthday and looking forward to it.. it turns out really crappy and this has happened several times in the last few years. Yet, I am not forcefully turning myself into a birthday hating maniac. I just couldn't care less :P All I am looking forward to is an excuse to eat cake. +cough+ ;)

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I don't know..

I have been having weird dreams about the same person almost every night. It's creepy because there are some things that I want to forget but I probably end up trying so hard to forget them, that they're stuck in my head anyway. I can control my conscious thoughts, but have no way out when I am sleeping or dreaming you know? It's not the standard, typical nightmare with ghosts or haunted mansions but more like replay of the mistakes I think I have made or things that I regret. I don't know where this is coming from. And no, the song that I am listening to is far from intentional :( .. /rant.

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Now playing: Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
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All Jumbled Up

I have absolutely nothing to blog about but I am going to post anyway because I feel like it :P It's been a happy day. If you wake up in the morning and plug a happy song into your ears, I bet you a million bucks that your day will be fantastic ^^; Trust me on this :o It's worked for me whenever I have tried. I woke up this morning to Pappu Can't Dance, silly crazy song and that's how I have been feeling all day :o You try it xD I was as good as dancing in my shower :P

Erm, yeah.. I saw the movie a few days back and it was fantastic but I suppose everyone already knows that by now :P It met my expectations and surpassed them to a certain extent. Although the concept was nothing close to 'new' or 'innovative' I think the dialogues were very well written and it actually made me laugh out loud :P

I absolutely love college :o The projects are so interesting and fun, nothing like BMS +yucky+ and the people are nicer :P I had college in the morning today and same thing tomorrow. I like morning colleges are great deal but I suppose I have mentioned that a thousand million times already. And although I hate my computer teacher like heck, I am actually starting to learn a few things about designing that I didn't know before. For instance, I am going to start teaching myself how to work with Photoshop and allied softwares really soon. It's exciting :o No, you don't need to understand why.. because you probably won't anyway xD

I watched like seven episodes of Season 2, Heroes today. I know it's crazy but I would still be watching had I not been sleepy. But on the brighter side, it leaves more episodes for me to watch tomorrow maybe? :P Must sleep now, or at least try to. 'Night :)

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Now playing: Kelis - Milk Shake
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Silent Yells

I was really impressed to read about Lindsay Lohan finally coming clean about her girlfriend. Mumbai Mirror, last page x) It's amazing how liberal some countries are. It would be blasphemy to let people suspect you of homosexuality in India, leave alone admitting to it. We talk about freedom, we talk about advancement and yet we have criminal laws against homosexuality. India has the second largest population in the world, we could probably use a few gay men and women right about now.

Gay men have been coming out of the closet, however gay women are never talked about. I wonder if it's that gender bias again or if the women are reticent to a higher degree because they fear being 'shamed'. Whatever it is, it needs to first start with the homosexuals not being ashamed of themselves, only then can they expect others to not feel the same way.

I have no idea why a straight man has the right to condemn same sex marriages. You aren't gay and just because you're narrow minded to the extent that you can't conceive love for someone of the same sex, doesn't mean it's wrong or should be forbidden. Who the heck is the government to tell people who they are to love? Seriously, western countries have gone to the extent of legalising same sex marriages and homosexuality is still a crime here..

Why are we such hypocrites as a society? The land of the Kama Sutra refuses to talk openly about sex. Nobody ever questions the erotic sculptures made centuries ago (enshrined in temples even) but if MF Hussain decides to paint anything on those lines (which IS his right, freedom of expression anyone?), he's driven out of the country. Hypocrites, to the t. People would rather do it in hiding than openly admit to what they are.

It's not Indian culture? Who defines culture anyway? Who gave the self appointed 'moral police' the right to determine what is morally correct or incorrect for a billion others? Culture is the set of norms a society follows and most of the present generation believes in liberal ideas. Who are 60 year old politicians to tell us what to do? This moral policing of sorts has become the bone of contention between the two generations. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that your parents or other experienced people can't give you their opinion or advice. All I am saying is that nobody has the right to tell you how to live your life or to make choices that can alter the course of your life from the way you want it.

This jumbled up rant has to do with several things that I feel very strongly about, but to sum it up in one word : Freedom. Each person is responsible for their own self. Why do these so called 'humanitarians' like to make decision for the youth? Moral decisions. Personal decisions. That's not what we vote for. The moral orange police needs to lay off and mind their own bloody business.

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Who let 'em bitches out?

There are always people who annoy the crap out of you and if you look closely, you'd notice that they have similar characteristics which irk you. These are the kind of people in class that get my temper rising;

• Shut The Fuck Up - They pass the dumbest comments when a lecture is going on (and you'll also find some of them in theatres). Trying to look really smart or funny or what-the-fuck-ever to people who don't give a rat's ass anyway. One of these was sitting behind me during Orientation yesterday. Going on and on with her 'attempts' of dissing the speakers. I so wanted to slap her across the face and I would have, had I not been with my Mum. If you don't effing want to sit through the seminar/class, then fuck off. It's not that hard. These are nothing but a bunch of people who constantly need approval from others sitting around them. You respond, their purpose is served. I swear this one's going to get it if she happens to sit around me and not shut her gob.
• I Have A Question! - Their questions won't stop. Silly questions, unrelated questions, dumb questions, moronic questions.. you name it, they've asked it. It starts to look like the only point of all their questions (yes, there IS a point..) is the attention they desperately seek. To be in the teacher's eye all the time. To give the impression that they're more 'interested' in the lecture than the lecturer itself. I haven't come across one of these in fybmm but I don't think it'd be too long before I do.
• Ms. Better Than You - So you got a 9 out of 10 in your test? They got 10. You think you dressed up well for college? She examines you from head to toe, whispers and giggles. The marks or the clothes are not even the point, the fact that she's being a bitch about it.. IS. It doesn't take a doctorate in psychology to figure out that she reeks of insecurity. Not that I am all for the people who let others make them feel like shit, but seriously I don't get how this helps insecurity. I see a bunch of girls who have already started with this in college. It's so lame, it's not even funny.
  

I guess that's it? I am surprised that there are only three kinds of people that piss me off, but college has only started.. you know? xD Oh by the way, I totally recommend this song that I am listening to right now. It's what you should always live by :)

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Now playing: Lady Sovereign - Love Me Or Hate Me (Dirty)
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Orientation Day.

I woke up so cranky this morning, I was wondering if I'd get through the day at all. I didn't want to get out of bed and get my ass to college for the orientation, but since when did a girl get to skip college when she wished to :( Mum dragged me out of bed and I convinced myself to get there and get it over with.

Obviously, nothing was like I expected it to be. The orientation wasn't a prolonged redundant presentation about the achievements of KC and how we should feel 'blessed' to have gotten admission. It was exactly the opposite. It was precisely about things that'd interest first year students, things we need to look forward to in the next three years, career opportunities, internships, college history and so much more.

Three guest speakers from the three different fields of media - television, print and advertising. Mark Manuel from the TOI caught my attention instantly, and I say this because of no personal bias. It was on instinct, really. He's editor of the Bombay Times, What's Hot and the recently launched, Goa Times. He dropped out of college to be a journalist because there were no courses available for Journalism when he was growing up. I really, really admire people who have the guts to do that. People who are so sure of themselves that they're willing to take that risk. Absolute admiration. He says, anyone from KC is free to intern for his BT :) → obviously that's the part that got me really excited. Listening to him speak was the highlight of my day, it made me believe I was finally in the right place (and there is no right time, really..)

Now, I could go on pretending that I paid attention to what the other two chief guests had to say, but I am too lazy to humour that assumption of yours. I was busy feeling starved and convinced Mum to ditch the rest of the show :P We ate, we shopped, we had sweet lime juice ♥, we ate again.. (what?! I was hungry, ok?), we had a bitch of a train ride home but all in all.. the day was uh-mey-zinh :) And isn't that all that really matters? =]

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Now playing: Jem - Maybe I'm Amazed (The OC Edit)
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1 week down.. a million more to go!

It's Friday!! w00t. You have no idea how much of relief it is. Even though we have our Orientation Day tomorrow (weirdly, after one week on college..) it's not the same rush that I'd have to be in as I usually am. We already have an Economics project to work on, although it's not due any time soon.. I don't want the work to pile up.

I quite like early morning lectures, unlike the majority of students out there because at least the whole day doesn't get wasted. Luckily, I manage to find myself a window seat every single time :) It's a 50 minutes ride, which I spend listening to music, reading and eavesdropping on people's conversation :P What?!! At least I admit it xD Haha. I will most likely get a new cell number today.. hopefully all would be odd numbers :P That'd be really nice xD

Computers, supposedly one of my favourite subjects is getting depressing thanks to some random over-smart, smug who thinks no one other than him has a say on the subject, being appointed as our professor. I mean, seriously.. what was anyone thinking? I can't pay attention in his class no matter how hard I try. I wouldn't attend another computer lecture if it wasn't for the attendance. Urgh.

History was nice as usual (contrary to what the others would say :P) .. I quite enjoyed it :) We'll be assigned individual projects next week where we need to speak about one historical character. I wish I could do the project about Ayn Rand but I doubt she's anything that'd interest History professors? I am looking forward to it anyway. +sips coffee+

I am going to get back to reading Atlas Shrugged. I am starting over because I lost track with the admissions and starting college, etcetera. I have several others on my list but I guess that'd have to wait, all I care about at the moment is to finish Atlas Shrugged and eventually, Anthem.

Ermmmmm, I don't have anything else to say I guess :P I need to think of more interesting things to blog about xD Toodles ♥

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Now playing: The Killers - When You Were Young
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Anything and everything..

Don't start to party yet, I am still pretty much alive. I have barely been interested in my computer over the last few days (yeah, I am capable of that o_o). College is keeping me busy and exhausted too. Not that we're doing laborious work or anything, I am just taking time getting used to all the travelling. I am enjoying it too :) Especially because I have the subjects of my choice and the teachers are pretty good (well, at least most of them xD).

Our first lecture got cancelled today, which was pretty annoying considering I rushed to the station early morning today, to be able to get to the class on time. I have no idea why I overslept though :P Anyway, just one lecture of Sociology which ended at 1.00 and I was on my way home. I slept through the day like a log :P

Neopets is getting boring now or maybe it's just got to do with the whole college thing. Not really sure what it is, but I am not really bothered any more xD I have been watching Heroes. A lot. It's fantastic, really. I can't believe I missed it earlier. I have been going at the speed of three to four episodes a day and I'd really like to recommend it to all of you who are bored at home and have nothing to do. If you don't get hooked, I'll change my name :o Ok, maybe not xD But, I swear it's worth a watch. I love the way they've shown India, unlike the third world country it's usually projected as. As of now, my favourite character is Hiro Nakamura xD He's so cute. Ahaha. And I don't mean the chocolate boy kind of cute, it's the funny-goofy kind of cute :P

I guess that's all for now, I have managed to find a decent skin after a really long time. The last one stayed for way too long I suppose xD It was making me sick, even though it was probably one of the best skins I have used. The 'labels' don't work on this one, but I guess that doesn't matter too much and I am too lazy to fix it. Anyway, it's time to sleep (yeah!).. or maybe I'll just watch another episode of Heroes and then go to bed :P Nighty night :)

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