Pernicious Diaries

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved

Maybe I think I love him just because I want so badly to be in love.
Maybe I just enjoy that it's unrequited, because it makes it more romantic, more tragic.
Maybe I just do it so others won't hurt me, because I know he won't.
Maybe I use it as a defence mechanism.
Maybe I want to build a wall around myself, so I can love him while resigning myself to the fact that nothing will happen. And then, I won't let anyone else in..
Maybe I am just afraid. I am just afraid.
I like the idea of longing and wanting someone more than they will ever know.
Maybe I am just playing myself into that?

OR .. maybe now I am just trying to pragmatically break my feelings up into logical/rational parts, to the point that I don't feel anything. So that I believe that I never did feel it in the first place.

If only I could figure out what sort of defence mechanism this is or what it is that I am defending myself against.

Hey darlings ♥
I haven't blogged for a while now.
I am home today, woke up about 30 minutes back.
Now I sit with my bowl of cornflakes.. it tastes extra yummy today.

I fell down at the station yesterday.
Luckily it wasn't down a huge flight of stairs.
Just three steps.
Lucky and funny too :P
Who slips on THREE steps. Lol. Sigh.
So, I fell flat on my back.
I couldn't even get up.
My right foot got twisted.
Four people helped me get back on my feet.
Luckily (again!!) I got away without a scratch.

The idiot that I am.
I decided to go to college anyway :P
And it got worse in college :/
My foot started to swell up and I couldn't even walk.

I don't know how I travelled from Churchgate to Malad on my own.
But I kept telling myself that I need to learn to take care of myself, which is the only reason I made it.

Funny thing is, it was hurting so much..
and I wanted to cry to release some tension (it's supposed to be therapeutic)
BUT nothing!
I have a well grounded suspicion that I might be bionic.
I can't cry or what!
I fall and sprain my leg this bad & I don't cry!!!


Other than the aforementioned incident, I haven't fallen down (too much) this week.
Tuesday was such a blast, you have no idea.
Unfortunately I can't have a written account of what actually happened that day in college.
I don't want any trouble :P
Both lectures got cancelled though (dramaaaaa!)
If rumours are to be believed Blitzkrieg, I.V, participation in other college fests, etc. is cancelled for us this year (because of what happened). More on that later.


I watched White Chicks yesterday.
Crazy movie.
If you are in a weird mood and want to watch something funny, then I'd suggest it :P
I will be watching The Devil's Advocate today.
It seems very interesting.
Can't wait.


I also can't wait for Pictionary Sunday !!
Pleeeeease come :)
Even though I don't know how to play the game properly, I am very excited :P
I want it to top last Sunday ^_^

Soooooo..
That's all for now folks!
I plan to catch up on some reading today.
& movies
& music + cylindrical white sticks + rain = bliss!
(I've been smoking like a chimney off late.)